TAK: the Musical
by MajorBrandon
Summary: Pretty self-explanitory. It's TAK, so there are romantic elements. Act 1 out of 2 is up.


TAK the Hideous New Girl: the Musical  
  
By MajorBrandon  
  
PROGRAMME  
  
Act 1:  
  
Going Through the Motions  
  
Performed by ZIM, DIB, ALIENS, and GUY  
  
From: Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Once More, With Feeling (the musical episode)  
  
Valendoom's Day  
  
Performed by BITTERS, CLASS, ZIM, and DIB  
  
The Balogna Song  
  
Performed by TAK, ZIM, and CLASS  
  
TAK's Poem  
  
Performed by TAK  
  
Human Affection  
  
Pereformed by ZIM, RED, and PURPLE  
  
Please Be My Slimy Lovebaby!  
  
Performed by ZIM and TAK  
  
I Am TAK!  
  
Performed by Tak and ZIM  
  
Act 2:  
  
Ham Demon  
  
Performed by ZIM and HAM DEMON  
  
I Need Your HELP!  
  
Performed by ZIM, GAZ, MEMBRANE, and DIB  
  
At TAK's Lair  
  
Performed by TAK, ZIM, GAZ, and DIB  
  
Garden of Doomicity  
  
Performed by ZIM  
  
From: Jesus Christ Superstar  
  
Walk Through the Meats  
  
Performed by ZIM, TAK, GAZ, GIR, and DIB  
  
From: Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Once More, With Feeling (the musical episode)  
  
Fight Montage\Do Something Crazy!  
  
Performed by ZIM, TAK, GAZ, GIR, and DIB  
  
Where Do We Go From Here?  
  
Performed by ZIM, GAZ, GIR, and DIB  
  
From: Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Once More, With Feeling (the musical episode)  
  
Going Through the Motions (Reprise)  
  
Performed by DIB  
  
From: Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Once More, With Feeling (the musical episode)  
  
Where Do We Go From Here? (Reprise)  
  
Performed by ZIM, GAZ, and GIR  
  
From: Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Once More, With Feeling (the musical episode)  
  
Dear Audience,  
  
I, MajorBrandon, thank you for taking the time to read my musical. Some things have changed, so the story would fit the songs, but I think you'll like it.  
  
So, Dib's been fighting ZIM (and vice versa) for over a year now (Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain) and they're getting tired. Oh sure, there's variations in the plans, but every day is the same old fight. However, on one boring old skool day in the same boring old skool in the same boring old skool year, one of thier greatest adventures will begin.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
MajorBrandon  
  
ACT 1  
  
Going Through the Motions  
  
OPEN IN ON SKOOL YARD- NIGHT  
  
ZIM AND SOME ALIENS ARE TORTURING A GUY.  
  
*Dib walks in*  
  
DIB and ZIM: Every single night the same arrangement. I go out and fight the fight. *ZIM, Aliens, and Dib start to fight* Still I always feel the strangest estrangement.  
  
ZIM: Nothing here is real.  
  
DIB: Nothing here is right.  
  
ZIM and DIB: I've been making shows of trading blows just hoping no one knows that I've been going through the motions, walking through the part. Nothing seems to penetrate my heart.  
  
DIB: I was always brave and kind of righteous, now I find I'm wavering. Crawl out of your ship, you find this fight just doesn't mean a thing.  
  
ALIEN #1: He ain't got that swing.  
  
DIB: Thanks for noticing. *kills Alien #1*  
  
ALIENS: He does pretty well with feinds from Irk, but lately we can smirk 'cuz we know that he's just going through the motions, faking it somehow.  
  
ALIEN #2: He's not even half ith boy he- *Dib kills Alien #2* Owwwww...  
  
ZIM and DIB: Will I stay this way forever? Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor? *Dib saves Guy*  
  
GUY: How can I repay-  
  
DIB: Whatever. *Guy runs off*  
  
DIB and ZIM: I don't want to be going through the motions, losing all my drive. I can't even see if this is really me, and I just want to be alive. *ZIM runs off seeing he's the only alien left*  
  
*END SONG*  
  
Valendoom's Day  
  
OPEN ON CLASS  
  
*Bitters gets a call*  
  
BITTERS: NO! *Slams phone on the reciever* Despite my moral outrage, the skoolboard just called me *speaking* and said *singing*, they want to free you of your cage of emotionality-  
  
DIB: *speaking* Is that a word?  
  
BITTERS: They wish you celebrate the holiday I HATE!  
  
CLASS: Oh so much is the fun of Valentine's Day! A day of happy doodely fun! Will you be my valentine today? We will have so much fun!  
  
BITTERS: *speaking* You may pass out your meats.  
  
ZIM: What is this day of valentines? SOMEONE MUST TELL ME! *gets looks from the class* Eh, my brain forgets things sometimes, SO SOMEONE MUST TELL ME!  
  
DIB: Well...A long long time ago, some guy named Valentine showed some love! so now we celebrate in his honor, and give meats to the ones we love!  
  
*END SONG*  
  
The Balogna Song  
  
*Bitters gets another call*  
  
BITTERS: *speaking* New student.  
  
*TAK walks in*  
  
TAK: Hello, my name is TAK and I think it's Valentine's day, so...Who here wants some BALOGNA? Who wants some balogna slabs? Everyone must have one! I'm the riches girl around, so it's my tabs!  
  
CLASS: BALOGNA! BALOGNA! I WANT BALOGNA!  
  
TAK: Hush, hush, everyone will get some *starts handing out balogna* EXEPT FOR ZIM!  
  
ZIM: *speaking* Eh?  
  
*END SONG*  
  
TAK's Poem  
  
TAK: *speaking* For ZIM, I wrote a poem:  
  
*singing*  
  
Roses are red,  
  
Violets are blue,  
  
That wig looks good on you.  
  
Birds sing and...*non-musical yelling*  
  
YOU'RE GONNA PAY!  
  
*END SONG*  
  
BITTERS: Thank you TAK, that was HORIBLE. Now sit down.  
  
Skoolgirl: ZIM HAS A GIRLFRIEND!  
  
TAK: That wasn't nice! Apologize to ZIM and...EAT YOUR ERASER!  
  
*A flash of light emits from TAK*  
  
Skoolgirl: Ok, TAK. ZIM, I'm sorry.  
  
ZIM: You should be.  
  
*Skoolgirl eats her eraser*  
  
OPEN ON ZIM IN HIS BASE  
  
HE IS TALKING TO THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST  
  
ZIM: So, I have determined that this girl LOVES ME, which isn't suprising because I'm AMAZING!  
  
RED: U-huh.  
  
Human Affection  
  
ZIM: You see, these humans do sumpthin' called lovin' which is so disgusting I put my PAK in an oven. They have these FEELINGS for each other. They have these FEELINGS I want to smother.  
  
RED: Eew.  
  
PURPLE: Gross!  
  
ZIM: These horrible FEELINGS are beyond my comprehension, but this girl could be my KEY!  
  
PURPLE: I hate this love you mention!  
  
RED: Why are you telling this to me?  
  
ZIM: Human affection is quite outlandish, stupid and dumb, but maybe this girl can teach me something! THEN SHE'LL MEET HER DOOM!  
  
*END SONG*  
  
OPEN ON SKOOLYARD  
  
EVERYBODY IS TALKING TO EACH OTHER AND HAVING FUN  
  
DIB: Ya' know, TAK, you're not all that bad.  
  
TAK: Yes. You're not bad, either.  
  
Will You Be My Slimy Lovebaby?  
  
ZIM: Congrats TAK, you are my lovebaby, my slimy lovebaby!  
  
TAK: Get away from me, I'm not your lovebaby! *Shoots ZIM with BBQ sause. ZIM burns*  
  
SKOOL HALL  
  
ZIM: Oh, will you be my lovebaby, my slimy lovebaby?  
  
TAK: Go away! I won't be your lovebaby! *Throws meat at ZIM. he burns*  
  
CLASS  
  
BITTERS IS RANTING ABOUT "MLIPIDY-MORPS"  
  
ZIM: TAK, you have been chosen by me to be my lovebaby! Will you be my lovebaby!?  
  
TAK: *speaking* No. *This time it's mustard*  
  
*END SONG*  
  
OPEN ON BASE  
  
ZIM WALKS IN, BRUISED AND BURNT  
  
ZIM: TAK loves me very much. Experement complete. I'll doom her now.  
  
VOICE: I don't think so!  
  
ZIM: Eh?  
  
*Doorbell rings. ZIM answers anf inds TAK*  
  
ZIM: Oh goodie. I'll doom you now.  
  
TAK: No you won't. *becomes Irken*  
  
ZIM: WHAT!?  
  
I AM TAK!  
  
TAK: Well now ZIM, my secret is broken, here is the news: It was my wish, to be an Invader, but you ruined it all. I was training, almost completed, just had one confrence left. YOU RUINED IT ALL! YOU BLEW THE POWER! YOU SHATTERED MY DREAMS! In 70 years I can try again- 60 spent chasing after you!  
  
ZIM: So you blame me for a bad life, blah, blah, blah.  
  
TAK: Yes, indeed.  
  
ZIM: You're here for revenge?  
  
TAK: No. I just WANT YOUR MISSION! I have a plan! *speaking* the first part of which is to cripple your base. *destroys base. Singing* I AM TAAAAAAAK!  
  
*END SONG*  
  
ZIM: NO! MY BASE!  
  
END ACT 1 


End file.
